Thursday, April 21, 2005

Book Millionaire ® Revisited

If you remember my last post, my co-worker John Denardo who blogs for
wrote a post about an upcoming reality TV show called Book Millionaire®. I was considering entering the contest, because my wife Jill and I have about three to four really good ideas for books. Unfortunately, I probably won't be accepted unless they are willing to alter their contest rules.

The big problem for me is that you have to be in excellent health! While I am in good health I do have diabetes, so my guess is that would eliminate me.

The other problem is you have to work on the weekends, and who wants to do that? Not to mention, I don't work on Saturdays period.

I wonder if I would have to work on the weekends if I were President? Doesn't the President get weekends off?

Hmmmmm... I think this weekend work thing could get in the way of running for President as well. When would I have time to run my errands, go grocery shopping, etc.?

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Book Millionaire®

My co-worker John Denardo who blogs for sfsignal, just submitted this post about a new reality show/contest called Book Millionaire®. Basically, they are trying to find people who would like to become bestselling authors.

So I was thinking maybe I should enter the contest.

If I could get a national television audience to learn about my campaign platform, I would be a shoe-in to win the next election (provided I decide to run for President).

Hmmmm.... I hope the people in charge of the show aren't ant lovers. Otherwise, they will probably put a clause in my contract that says I can't talk about my presidential platform.

My only concern is that I am not sure how well I will perform for the casting call. I should see if my wife can fill in for me at the casting call. She has a degree in Theater, so she should do just fine.

Maybe I will fill out an application. What's the worst thing that could happen?

I could win the contest and then become President.

On second thought maybe I shouldn't apply, I am not really sure about this whole President thing.

Decisions, Decisions...

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Monkey Spies

My wife Jill came across a funny story in the news today. Apparently, a police department in Arizona wants to train a monkey to do spy work.

So maybe I could train ants to be spies. Ants would make better spies than monkeys anyway, because:

  • Ants are smaller than monkeys and can get into even the most secure places without being noticed

  • Ants are quieter than monkeys

  • You could send 10000 ants to spy on a place and if 9999 of them get killed, you still have one spy left. Whereas, you probably can't afford to send more than one monkey on a spy mission

  • Nobody wants to see a monkey get killed in combat, but who cares if an ant gets exterminated

  • If the mission fails, you can still be happy knowing that the ants probably really annoyed your enemy by causing them endless grief attempting to get rid of them

So as you can see if I were President I would find a good use for all the ants in the United States...

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Thankful Blog

I just started a new blog where I will be posting things I am thankful for. It is called the thankful blog.


Thursday, April 14, 2005

Sloane the Clone

I was watching Alias last night and I was surprised to find out that Sloane had cloned himself. For those who don't watch Alias Sloane is the "reformed" bad guy.

Anyway, I was thinking that even though I am morally opposed to cloning, it would really come in handy. If I was cloned ... with the new baby in the house one of me could stay home while the other went to work. And imagine what a great campaign I could run. I could hold campaign rallies in more than one State at the same time! I could promise the American people that they would have a President who worked round the clock (because my clone could work nights and weekends).

I think being cloned would have some definite benefits.

Although, not everyone should be cloned (for instance bad guys like Sloane). Actually, I am not real fond of anyone being cloned, but it might come in handy when you have a new baby, or are running the country...

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Cookie Monster wants Cookies or Carrots

Cookie monster has gone health nut! Cookie monster will be telling kids that cookies are a "sometime food".


I thought he was a COOKIE MONSTER not a CARROT MONSTER! Sure I want my kids to eat healthy and am very concerned about health, but REALLY this is political correctness taken to the extreme. I could probably create a new blog on all the ridiculous politcally correct occurences in this country... But this is taking things to far.

I loved the cookie monster as kid. I especially like the way he would say things like "Me want cookie", "Give me cookie", etc. Now I guess he will say things like "please may I have an apple".

Yuck! What kind of monster is that?

Why can't they just have fun with cookie monster and let him eat his cookies?

Please Sesame Street give cookie monster his cookies back, not as sometimes food, but as an all the time food. Cookie Monsters can't be cookie monsters without cookies. So just give him his cookies. Maybe the girl scouts can sneak him all of the cookies they have left-over after their annual girl scout cookie drive is over.

Sesame Street please give Cookie Monster his cookies back, remember "C" is for Cookie!

Thursday, April 07, 2005


My kids and I read and every night and I wanted to share with you one of our favorite poems, it's called: Eletelephony


Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant--
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone--
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I've got it right).

Howe'er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee--
(I fear I'd better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

by Laura Elizabeth Richards

If you ever read my blog you can probably tell why I like this poem. Anyway, it's time for me to make a call on my telephee, I mean my telephant. Oh you know what I mean...

Daylight Savings Legislation


Lawmakers in Washington DC are thinking about extending Daylight Savings Time by two months! If you haven't seen the story check it out here:

I guess the politicians in Washington haven't seen my plan to make daylight savings time last all year! If I were President there would be no springing forward, and falling back or falling forward and springing back or whatever it is. We would just have Daylight Savings all year round (I don't like the dark).

Hopefully, I won't have to comment on daylight savings time again anytime soon. If I do it means that the legislation passed and I think that instead of falling back and Springing forward we will be falling back and wintering forward?


Sunday, April 03, 2005

Spring Forward

I picked the wrong day to give up drinking coffee!

Saturday, April 02, 2005

1 week baby checkup

John Victor had his one week baby checkup Friday. He gained a pound! So now he weighs 10 and half pounds. He has almost outgrown all his 0-3 months clothes. Apparently, for him 0-3 months means 0-3 weeks. Thus proving the fact that babies can't understand the concept of time.