Monkey Spies

My wife Jill came across a funny story in the news today. Apparently, a police department in Arizona wants to train a monkey to do spy work.

So maybe I could train ants to be spies. Ants would make better spies than monkeys anyway, because:

• Ants are smaller than monkeys and can get into even the most secure places without being noticed


• Ants are quieter than monkeys


• You could send 10000 ants to spy on a place and if 9999 of them get killed, you still have one spy left. Whereas, you probably can't afford to send more than one monkey on a spy mission


• Nobody wants to see a monkey get killed in combat, but who cares if an ant gets exterminated


• If the mission fails, you can still be happy knowing that the ants probably really annoyed your enemy by causing them endless grief attempting to get rid of them

So as you can see if I were President I would find a good use for all the ants in the United States...