Wednesday, October 01, 2008

My Alternative To The Bailout Plan

It's been a while since I wrote anything on this blog, but the current political landscape has forced me to revise my Presidential platform. There wasn't anything wrong with my old platform, but since I recently was made aware of the fact that money grows on trees I have decided a new platform is in order.

What do you mean money grows on Trees?

What? You haven't heard? According to Republicans and Democrats money grows on trees!

Case in point...

The legislative branch of government (who I still think should be replaced by monkeys) wants to give 700 BILLION (not million, BILLION) dollars to bailout banks in this country.

According to the IRS about 110 million people in the US filed their taxes last year. Sure, everyone in the US pays sales tax, but for the sake of argument let's divide the 700 billion dollars across the 110 million reported taxpayers. This results in each of us paying around 10,000 dollars in taxes on the bailout. Hmmm... I don't have 10,000 dollars to hand over to the government do you? I guess it will come from the magic money trees they have in Washington.

What, that's not enough proof that Republicans and Democrats think money grows on trees?

Well, did you know that both Presidential candidates want to spend more money on new projects if they become President? According to a study I recently read, John McCain wants to spend about $92 billion more dollars then we currently are spending and Barak Obama wants to spend about $292 billion more than we are currently spending. But both candidates say that they won't increase our taxes. The evidence speaks for itself:

Money Grows On Trees!

In light of this news, I have decided to change my platform.

From this point on, I am replacing my plan to give every voter a free ipod and in it's place I will create a new better plan called the "No Child Shall Have To Work" plan.

Under this plan, I will give every US citizen 1 million dollars... no wait a second... since money grows on trees let's make that 20 million dollars.

Yes, you heard me right. Vote for me and every man, women and child in the United States (even illegal immigrants) will get 20 million dollars a piece.

I will create the first country where everyone is a millionaire. No resident of the United States will ever have to work another day in their lives. I will completely eliminate poverty in this country once and for all. The founding fathers would be so proud. Additionally, I will set up posh country clubs with golf courses in every neighborhood in the US. And we will never have another housing crisis in this country, because everyone will have plenty of money to pay their loans. In fact, since money grows on trees I am going to throw in a free mansion complete with maid service and a butler for every man and woman and child in this country.

This will be the greatest country EVER. If this doesn't get me elected I don't know what will!

So, remember when you go to the polls this November vote "George Brian Manty" for President.

Since I don't have a running mate yet, for now you can just write in Mickey Mouse as my running mate. I figure Mickey can sit around doing nothing as well as any other Vice President...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now will those that already have 20 million or much more also get this 20 million. I don't know if the tax payers will see this as a fair plan. Other than that, I do not see any flaws with this strategery.

6:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, what country of origin will the maid and butler be from? Will they need a worker visa?

6:37 PM  
Blogger gmanty said...

Yes, everyone will get 20 million. You are correct that everyone won't like this, but it will make everyone wealthy.

As far as the maid and butler... I haven't really thought that far ahead. I am after all a politician :)

7:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Manty if we are all millionaires (a good idea) we wouldn't have to work so who creates, makes, waits on us at restaurants, etc. and since we dont work who pays taxes so that we get our annual millions? a scanty plan manty b

6:31 AM  
Blogger gmanty said...

Nobody needs to work in a socialist society the government pays for it all from their giant money tree.

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about inflation?

If everyone got that much money people would stop working their asses off.

In other words, the builders that we want to hire to build our brand new luxury houses will not be working, but instead be looking for their own workers to build their own luxury homes. Now-Rich laborers will demand higher wages for their services, knowing that their employers have an extra 20 million dollars to spend.

Furthermore, luxury brands such as rolex are there for the purpose of giving status to those with money. When everyone has money, what do you think rolex will do to keep up their image of being a luxury brand only a select few can afford? That's right, they will raise prices, probably to (an exaggeration) more than 100 million dollars a watch. Hyperinflation will occur, causing a large decrease in the value of the US dollar in the foreign exchange market. Imports will be much higher, and the economic loss will be greater than the temporary gain.

Also, I'm assuming that you know that you will be raising US Debt?

Of course, this isn't all that I want to say, but this will most likely ruin the US rather than save it.

Well... I myself am Chinese so I hope this happens and CHINA WILL RISE MUAHAHAHA

P.S. If I made any mistakes, please leave constructive criticism. Sorry for any misunderstandings beforehand. (I agree that Politicians are full of crap)

7:02 AM  
Blogger gmanty said...

You mean "money doesn't grow on trees"? RATS!!!

7:50 AM  

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