Friday, December 29, 2006

Top Ten Reasons to Elect me as President in 2008

People are starting to position themselves to run in 2008. So I figure that if any of you were planning on starting a grass roots campaign to get me elected, now is the time to do so.

Therefore, I thought I would go ahead and list the top ten reasons you should elect me as your President in 2008.

So here goes:

10. I will make the day after the Super Bowl a natinonal holiday.

9. I would reduce poverty by closing down all the Walmarts around the country.

8. Every person around the world will get a 20 dollar gift certificate from the US. This will help improve the likeability of the US on an International level. (Thanks to David Letterman for this suggestion).

7. I will lead the US to victory over terrorism with my ant teleportation plan.

6. I will create a new government agency dedicated to the eradication of SPAM. The Anti-Spam Agency would start by instituting the National NO-SPAM week.

5. I will veto all silly/stupid laws that only benefit special interests and not the people.

4. I will institute Daylight Savings Time Year Round.

3. I will elminate ants from US soil!

2. *All US citizens will get a free ipod. Those of you voting more than once in the election will only recieve extra free ipods if your additional votes were cast for me.

1. I will Blog the Presidency!

So, there you go. If you need any more reasons just refer people to my unbeatable platform.

*If it will help get me elected we might even give out free ipods to people whose pets vote for me.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

I Need to Learn How To Draw Cartoons

Apparently, I need to learn how to draw cartoons in 2007. Because cartoonists will be taking over the world in 2007.

Maybe I can just convice one of them to let me run the US anyway...