Sunday, October 31, 2004

Fall Back

Ugghhh. If I were President I would get rid of Daylight Savings Time...

Thursday, October 21, 2004


John respectfully declined my offer to run for Vice President in 2008. He said he doesn't like Politics. Neither do I, that's why I *might run in 2008. In fact, maybe I should run in 2004. There are only couple of weeks left. I have three solid votes now, maybe 4 if you count my dog Ruff (just kidding I didn't register him in time).

So *maybe I will run in 2004. I will let you know by November 1st. That will give me plenty of time to get my campaign message out before voting day.

Please check back on November 1st, so you can know whether to vote for me or not.

*Notice the indecisiveness above, it's necessary to be indecisive and to flip-flop on issues if you are in Politics. I am getting better at Politics everyday...

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Vice President 2008

Vice President...

The other day, John Denardo (a co-worker of mine) looked at my blog and he said "...Great job!". John is also one of the writers for a popular science fiction blog, called sfsignal.

This made me think, "Hey, John might be a good choice for my running mate in 2008."

Then later in the day John sent me an e-mail. In it he wrote:

"I’m voting for you!

Death to the ants!
(or, barring that, train them as spies)"

I took that to mean that he believes in my campaign promises. That's good enough to catapult him to the top of my list of Vice Presidential candidates (well, at least for now).

Previously, I was considering putting my new exterminator at the top of my list. Ever since he set out those environmentally safe ant traps, we have not had any ants in the house. However, after thinking long and hard about it I decided that his skills would better serve this country as head of the Ant Hill Security agency.

So that leaves John as the most logical choice to be my running mate in 2008. I firmly believe that with John Denardo at my side we can and will get more votes than Mickey Mouse in 2008...

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Debate are Over

The debates are over, woohooo! If I were President, I would get rid of the debates. They are pretty useless, unless you want to find which candidate is the most convincing salesman. In the first year that Ross Perot ran for President, polls considered Ross Perot the clear winner in two out of three of the debates. What good did that do him?

People would learn a lot more about the candidates if instead each candidate had to go on 2-3 reality TV shows. The first reality show they should go on is one of those shows where you switch spouses for a week. Then we would really get to see what each candidate and their families were like...

Better yet, we should create a new reality show especially made for Presidential candidates! Each candidate and their running mate is filmed 24-7 for two weeks on their campaign trail. They can be watched live on the internet 24 hours a day for those two weeks. We can find out how the candidates REALLY feel. At the end of each day they could hook the candidates up to a lie detector and ask them 10 randomly chosen questions that were e-mailed in by the viewing audience. That would be SO much more useful to us than the debates are.

That's what I would do if I were President. NO MORE DEBATES! Reality TV to the Rescue...

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Presidential Debates

In case I make a run for President, I took notes during the Presidential debates. Here are my notes:

1. Ignore moderator's questions.
2. Constantly re-iterate my campaign points.

Pretty simple, huh? So if I were running this year, here is how the debate would have gone:

Moderator: George Manty what is your position on the war in Iraq?
Me: Well, we need to fight terrorism. But more importantly we need to rid this country of ants. Ants have been wreaking havoc in homes throughtout this country and they must be stopped now!

Moderator: So George Manty what exactly is your position on healthcare?
Me: Healthcare is a major issue and I will work really hard to fix it. But my first priority to the American people is to rid the U.S. of ants...

I am pretty sure I could have won the debate the other night. I mean really, what citizen wouldn't like to hear that I am going to rid the U.S. of ants (repeated 47 times)...