Wednesday, May 31, 2006

New Orleans is Sinking

New Orleans is sinking at a rate of about 1 inch a year and that worries scientist. I don't live in New Orleans so it's hard for me to know how hard this is to hear, but I think it might be time for us to abandon New Orleans. Let it sink into the ocean and build a new New Orleans somewhere far away from the water.

Whenever I drive by New Orleans on our way to Florida, I always think to myself:

"Why would anyone want to live in a swamp?" and "Why would anyone build a city under sea level? What in the world were they thinking?"

In retrospect, the whole city just seems like a bad idea.

I think this latest report about the city sinking is a sign from God that maybe New Orleans should be abandoned. Sometimes man doesn't like to listen to God. Maybe it's not a message from God, but if MY house were sinking I would take it as a message from God that it was time to start looking for another house.

But that's just me...

Monday, May 29, 2006

WALMART = Poverty

It's true, a recent study proves that Walmart causes poverty in this country.

If I were President, I would force all Walmarts to close until they raised their prices and stopped forcing manufactures to outsource all their work.

As President, I would reduce poverty by closing down all the Walmarts around the country. This along with the jobs created by the Ant Hill Security department would be a good start towards reducing poverty in this country.

As time goes by I am amazed at how solid my platform is becoming. Maybe I should run for President. It might not be that bad being President, for one thing I wouldn't have to work in a cubicle...

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Elevator Conversation of DOOM

This morning when I got to work, there were about 7 of us riding up the elevator. That's not to unusual. Two ladies started talking and the conversation went something like this:

Lady 1: "How's your daughter doing?"
Lady 2: "Not well, she has red dots all over her. Looks like the measles or mumps."
Lady 1: "Oh no, our daughters were playing together yesterday."
Lady 2: "I didn't know yesterday. Has your daughter ever had the measles before?"

They exit the elevator to get off on their floor. The doors close and the Lady next to me says:

"I wish I had taken a different elevator."

Prompting a guy on the elevator to say:

"What's the incubation period for measles and mumps?"

All, I have to say is that I wish I wasn't on that elevator either. Oh well...

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I am running in 2008

See this phtocopy of an article that was in yesterday's local newspaper:

So please remember to vote for me in 2008.

PS. You too can create your own fake newspaper articles, see here.

Serious note about Gas Crisis

Update to this post:

My wife said:

I would be in favor of supporting ethanol if it weren't such an inferior alternative fuel source.


Worse, a new study by Washington State University researchers—just published in Bioscience—says that U.S. ethanol yields only about 10 percent more energy than it takes to make it. That means most of the effort and cash invested in the ethanol plants is wasted.

To get even that, we're having to subsidize the ethanol to the tune of 50 to 70 cents per gallon, or 60-80 percent more cost per mile of driving than a gallon of gasoline before the recent oil price spike.

Worst of all, the Washington State bioscientists say it takes about 2.4 acres of land growing corn to support a car driving for a year on E85—gasoline with 15 percent ethanol mixed in. If we ran even 10 percent of our cars on the ethanol mix, that would take about 48 million more acres of good cropland away from Nature—or 100 million acres of poor cropland. U.S. national forests total only 191 million acres.

Just say no to ethanol, and let's use those research dollars for something that is truly useful!

I have to agree with Jill. She is all for alternative fuel, it looks like ethanol is not the way to go though...

Original post:

We really should do our best to support alternative forms of energy, oil, and gas.

I just saw a really cool Google Bombing campaigning regarding this. I found it here. What you do is insert the following box:

removed box due to update...

onto your site or blog to support ethanol as a natural alternative to oil and gass. I am about to add it to this blog.


Gas Wars

That title sounds a little... well, um... stinky.

But it's not that kind of gas I am talking about.

As everyone knows gas prices are outrageous. We need to lower demand for gas. There are already many things in place, like mass transit, etc. But it's not enough!

If I were President the following would be my fool proof way to lower gas prices:

1. Get rid of all schools. (I know this is a drastic move, but it's my plan.)

Everyone would be required to homeschool. I couldn't find good statistics on the number of school buses in the US, but there are over 105,000 K-12 schools in the United States. Just imagine how many school buses that is? Imagine how many parents have to drive out of their way to drop their kids off at school. Imagine how much gas it would save if all of those kids were homeschooled?

2. Give companies major benefits for allowing workers to telecommute.

If people are telecommuting they aren't wasting gas to get to work. I am fairly certain there are some incentives in place today, but the government could give even better incentives to have workers telecommute.

3. Work on advancing our teleportation technology.

I know it's a bit of stretch, but it would also help us fight terrorist.

If those three things didn't curtail the need for gas, then I would strongly consider undoing the industrial revolution. We could get rid of everything that required gas. Get back to an agricultural society. That would take care of our gas problems...

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Is a country really Sovereign if...

My thought for the day...

Can a country really be considered a Sovereign country if they can't exist without constant foreign aid?

It seems to me like the answer to that question is no. So how will the Palestinians ever have a sovereign nation, if they can't exist without foreign aid?

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Monday, May 01, 2006

Miss Spider the Communist

My wife had this interesting post the other day about an episode of Miss Spider. Check it out, it's a good read!