Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Where's George - Kids need the Money

This past thanksgiving on my way to visit relatives in Austin, I received a dollar bill that had some writing in red ink on it. The wrting had been stamped on the dollar bill and said that this dollar was part of something called the currency tracking program. The dollar also had a website to visit called www.wheresgeorge.com. Apparently, some people created this fun project to track currency as it moved from place to place.

I know you might be asking yourself, "So what does this have to do with being President?"

Well, I was thinking that if we gave the youth of America their own dollar bill to track we could reduce crime. I have heard politicians say that we need to get kids off the street. If we can give kids enough dollar bills to track, then they would stay inside tracking their money, instead of being out and about getting into trouble.

If I were President I would give every child under the age of 18 one hundred dollar bills to track. I know that adds up to a lot of money. So let's take a look at the numbers.

There are around 70 million children under the age of 18 in the United States.

If you gave each of them $100.00, then you are talking about distributing 7 billion dollars.

Where in the world would I get seven billion dollars?

The United States gives out $13.3 billion tax dollars in direct Foreign Aid annually. The United States is also the single most generous benefactor of the United Nations, donating $2.4 billion dollars to primarily third-world dictators. In fact, most of the money the United States gives out winds out in the hands of dictators and terrorist. So instead of giving money to the terrorist and dictators, we will give it to it kids in our country to spend and to track. This would lower crime and give our economy a boost. At the same time it would cut down on the amount of money the terrorist recieved. It's a win-win-win situation.

This is truely a perfect plan. If I were President, I would give every kid in America one hundred dollars.

That will be bound to give me the under 18 vote!

Too bad they can't vote...

Friday, November 19, 2004

miserable failure not

If I were President nobody would be called a miserable failure. Check out my new blog to see what prompted this.


Thursday, November 18, 2004

Happy Birthday Mickey Mouse

I just wanted to wish Mickey Mouse a happy birthday today. Mickey Mouse made his screen debut on November 18, 1928 in Steamboat Willie. Mickey Mouse is 75 today!

I am not sure how many votes he got in 2004, but I do know he got more than I did. Of course, I wasn't running (mainly because I didn't want to get less votes than Mickey Mouse).

So I just wanted to say:
"Happy 75th Birthday Mickey Mouse!"

See you real soon...

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Down with daylight savings time

I know it's been a couple of weeks since the time change, but my kids still act like they are sleep deprived by the time bed time rolls around. It takes so long for kids to adjust to time changes. If I were President I would either banish "daylight savings time" or I would allow families with children have the choice to opt-in or opt-out of the program.

Actually, I kind of like daylight savings time, having the extra daylight in the evening is nice. So on second thought if I were President I would ban Standard Time! I would switch the US to be on Daylight Savings Time all the time!

Cool, I have found a new campaign promise:

Forget about falling back and springing forward! I will give you Daylight Savings Time all Year around!

It will give me the single parent vote for sure!

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Voting Quiz

The other day I took this voting quiz: http://www.votebyissue.org/wbur/

It was a pretty much a statistical draw. It turns out that I should have voted for all 6 candidates for President. Oh well. Maybe they should add an all of the above button on the computer ballots next time...

Monday, November 01, 2004

The BIG Day

It's the big day, the day before the election. And I know EVERYONE in the USA is going to visit this blog, anxiously waiting to find out...

Will I run for President in 2004 or not???

Before I tell you the answer, I have to let you know how my search for a running mate went. As you are already well aware, John DeNardo turned down my offer to become my running mate because he doesn't like politics. With only two weeks left I had very little time to find a running mate. I asked my friends and family if they were interested and none of them wanted to lose to Mickey Mouse!

Then I decided to try and find someone famous to run with me. It took a while (a whole week!), but I FINALLY found someone famous (well sort of famous) to run with me!

And that man is...

Hal Jordan aka. Green Lantern!

I know some of you are thinking, who in the world is Green lantern?

Some of you are thinking, why Hal Jordan, why not Kyle Rainer?

Some of you are thinking couldn't you have gotten a more popular SuperHero like Superman or Batman?

I would like to first address those questions and then let you know whether or not Hal and I will be running in 2004.

Q. Who in the world is Green lantern?

Green Lantern is a superhero, with a special ring that creates anything he can imagine (using a green ray).

Note: This ring could be of great use during political debates, more on that some other time...

Q. Why Hal Jordan, why not Kyle Rainer?

Hal Jordan is one of 36,000 Green Lanterns. He and Kyle Rainer are the most popular ones. I chose Hal Jordan simply because Kyle is not old enough yet to qualify for the office of Vice President.

Q. Couldn't you have gotten a more popular SuperHero like Superman or Batman?

I tried, believe me I tried. My first choice was Superman, but I never could get in touch with him. I think something might be wrong with him... I wonder where he is?

Then I tried Batman. I got in touch with him, but he said "I don't like politics." Ugghh, rejected again with the same "I don't like politics" line. After hearing this same line from the Flash, the Hulk, AquaMan, WonderWoman, Spiderman, and Robin. I started to think that there was no hope for me! Then I got in touch with Hal Jordan. He said he would love to run as Vice President with me. He even sounded excited about it. So, there you go, I found someone to run with me. And a SuperHero at that!

Next, I had to decide whether we would run in 2004 or 2008 or some other time? After quite bit of thought, we decided that we would wait until 2008 to run for President. Green Lantern and I discussed my latest plans for winning the election and we think that he may be able to use his green ring to cause the ants in my backyard to register and vote for us, helping us win the Presidential election in 2008 with ease!

So don't vote for me in 2004. I repeat don't vote for George Manty and Green Lantern in 2004! Wait for 2008 when we have both YOU and the ANTS on our side!