Sunday, August 29, 2004

not in 2004

I have my wife's approval. She said "If God wants you to be President, you'll be President." Upon further review... I have decided I am not going to run for President in 2004.

I think that flip-flopping on a big decision like this will help my chances in 2008, should I decide to run. Flip-flopping on important issues actually appears to be a pre-requisite for being a Presidential candidate. So I think this decision will go a long way towards getting me elected (along wtih my plan for the ants).

Also, the reality is that with such little time before the election, I would have recieved less votes than Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse got over 400 votes in the 2000 Presidential campaign in the State of Florida alone. There is no way I would have beaten Mickey in Florida. It would have been embarrasing to lose to a Mouse. I mean what would I tell my kids.

kids: "Dad we know you didn't win, but how did you do?"

Me: "Well, I almost beat Donald Duck, but Mickey Mouse blew my socks off."

endless Laughter...

kids: "That was funny Dad, so how did you really do?"

I wonder what would happen if Mickey ever won the election? I wonder what provision there is in the constitution for a fictional character winning the election?

Maybe I should change my name to Mickey Mouse, just in case that ever happens. Then I could take a trip to D.C., "Hi, my name is Mickey Mouse. Oh boy, I just won the election, where do I go to get sworn in?"

See you real soon...

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Write-in Vote

I was sitting down thinking about the whole "if I was President" thing, and thought to myself,
"I wonder how many write-in votes I would get if I started to run for President right now."

Really, it's what three-four months before the election. How many votes, could I get?

There are a couple of problems with starting a Presidential campaign right now though. For one I am really not sure what I would have to do to qualify as a write in candidate. Maybe I should look that up first. I think that all I need to do is ask people to write in my name under the write-in candidate spot for US President. I wonder how many people would do that?

The next problem is that nobody knows I am running, so I would need to get the word out. Three or four months isn't alot of time. I wouldn't want to spend any money on the campaign, because that would add to the challenge. It's amazing how much money is spent on the campaigns these days. I would like my budget to be zero dollars and zero cents. No campaign financing for me. Of course, that also saves me the time of having to host huge dinners for people who want to meet me (not that anyone even knows who I am). So I would have to find a way to get people to know that I am running. Hmmmm. Maybe through e-mail. E-mail is free, well at least for now and if I am your President I vow to do everything I can to keep it free (that sounded too political).

Ok, so now I send an e-mail, but I don't want it to be spam, because spammers are not well liked. I would also vow to stop all spam. Actually, I am not sure how to do that, so if you are a spammer reading this, don't worry vote for me anyway. I will try to take away your job, but probably won't be able to and besides in a few years your spamming job will be moved to India like everyone elses.

Not spamming means I would only be able to send it to people I know. Then they could send it to people they know, and so on. So maybe I would get 0-1 votes this way. I think I should come up with a better free campaign strategy soon, time is running out.

The time issue is another problem, I can't imagine that in three months I could get enough people to vote for me. Maybe I should run in 2008. That's not a bad idea. Although, it would be interesting to see how many votes I would get in this election.

It's not like I would make a bad president, I would certainly try really hard to do the right thing for this country. I think this is the greatest country in the world and I would like to keep it that way. Maybe that should be my campaign slogan "Vote for George, this is the greatest country in the world and he wants to keep it that way." Oh wait, I should probably include my full name, otherwise people might make the mistake of voting for Bush instead of me. Not that it would be a mistake to vote for Bush, but they should be voting for me. Well, I should ask my wife first to make sure it's ok to run a write-in campaign. I mean what if I didn't tell her and then we are sitting down to watch the election results after the kids in are bed and the news announcer says, "In the Presidential election, it looks like write-in candidate George Manty is carrying the Southern votes...", that might be a bit of surprise, and it's not a good idea to surprise a pregnant woman!

The only thing I could promise is that I would try really hard to get rid of ants... (see previous blog).

Maybe I should come up with a better platform...

I know if you elect me, my first priority will be to stop companies from shipping our jobs overseas. That should get me elected... Oh and I will fight the war on terror.

Yes that's it, my campaign promises:
1. Keep jobs in this country.
2. Fight terrorism.
3. Eliminate ants.

Cast your vote on November 2 for George Brian Manty, a man who wants this country to remain great.

Hmmmm... maybe I should wait for 2008, I might have more campaign promises by then. Oh nevermind, I think that promise #3 should put me over the top by giving me most of the Southern States. At the very least I would win the vote in Texas, because believe me we would vote for anyone who could get rid of the ants here.

So if I decide to run, then please click the mail icon at the end of this blog to let all your friends know to vote for me. But first I better ask my wife, she is after all pregnant and I don't know if she wants to give birth in the WhiteHouse. We are planning on having a homebirth and since our home would be the WhiteHouse... Hey, I wonder if a first lady has ever given birth in the WhiteHouse. Something to check into. It might help my Presidential campaign.


If I were President

This is my first post here. I thought it might be fun to start a blog about what I would do if I were President. There have been days in my past where I have uttered the famous words "If I ruled the world" or "If I were President, I would xyz...". But really I am not sure I would want to be put in that position. I mean really, how much power to really help people does the President have.

For instance, this morning I woke up and there were ants at our front door. The last couple weeks we have been fighting ants and we have a contract with an extirmination company!

We shouldn't have so many ants, but we do. I don't think there is much I could do as President to help people with their ant problems, although maybe that would be a good platform to run on. I wonder how many people out there would vote for me if I could guarantee that no US citizen would have ants in their house again.

Hmmmm... I think I might be on to something.

Vote for me and you won't have ants. Maybe... just maybe...

Until my next blog...