My Wife Jill's Counter Theory on Spontaneous Combustion

Last night, I told you about my theory on spontaneous combustion. Well, my wife Jill has a separate theory that describes what causes spontaneous human combustion.

Her first step for producing spontaneous human combustion is the same as my first step:

1. Person creates static electricity in their body. This can be done in a number of ways, but for the sake of argument let's say that said person rubs their feet around on a carpet (probably the most well known method of creating static electricity).

However, with Jill's theory in the second step the person holds in their gas and builds up massive amounts of internal gas. The combination of the person's growing levels of internal gas and static electricity causes the person to spontaneously combust.

In other words, Jill's theory looks like this:

Static electricity + held gas = spontaneous combustion


The problem with our theories is that if you try to prevent spontaneous combustion using my theory, you are going to hold your gas in. However, if Jill is correct that will cause you to spontaneously combust.

On the other hand, if you try to prevent spontaneous combustion using Jill's theory you would pass gas. Then if my theory is correct, you would spontaneously combust.

Hopefully, we will never find out which one of us is correct. I would hate to spontaneously combust because I didn't agree with my wife.

I strongly suggest that you never, ever, test out our theories. In fact, I will leave you with this...


WARNING: DO NOT TEST THESE THEORIES OUT AT HOME! NEITHER JILL MANTY OR GEORGE MANTY CAN BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE RESULTS.

My Theory on Spontaneous Combustion

I have been a little stressed at work lately, in order to de-stress I thought I would reveal my long held theory on the cause of spontaneous combustion.

Spontaneous combustion is this strange phenomenon where a person spontaneously bursts into flames. Nobody knows how spontaneous combustion works. However, I have a theory and now it's time to reveal my theory to the world.

In my theory, there are two steps needed to cause spontaneous combustion:

Step 1. Person creates static electricity in their body. This can be done in a number of ways, but for the sake of argument let's say that said person rubs their feet around on a carpet (probably the most well known method of creating static electricity).

Now, the person has stored up a lot of static electricity but has not released it yet.

Step 2. Prior to releasing the static electricity person passes gas.

At this point person spontaneously combusts.

Pretty simple:

Static electricity + passed gas = spontaneous combustion


I know what you are thinking:

A person with such a brilliant theory should definitely be elected President (or something like that)...

Hezbollah Won

I have been very busy lately, but today I a took a look at the cease fire agreement and the bottom line is that Israel signed yet another unenforceable agreement. The language is very weak and the bottom line is...

Hezbollah won and Israel lost!


Long term this probably means more bloodshed and loss of life when the next war takes place. If I were President, I would never have agreed to this cease fire. You don't have to be a lawyer to see that the agreement is a waste of paper.

It's time to send the ants to Tehran...

Hope this doesn't Happen

It would be hard enough to run against a politician, but a star like Oprah...

Yikes! No way will I run for President if it's against Oprah.

See details here.

Truth in Media Part 2

Ok, I just finished writing about the way the media twists the truth and then I see this headline from the AP:

Rockets hit Lebanon despite cease-fire

And I think to myself, "Oh my goodness why did Israel start bombing Lebanon again."

So I open up the report and lo and behold it's not Israel that is bombing Lebanon, but Hezbollah! Hezbollah fired 10 rockets into souther Lebanon, but Israel didn't respond because they didn't hit Israel.

How freaking decieving was that headline? It did get me to read the story though...

David Letterman's Solution To World Politics

I am sitting here watching David Letterman, and he just revealed his plan to change world opinion about the United States. I think it's brilliant!

Dave said that we should send everyone a 20 dollar gift certificate to Target.

Pretty good plan, I wonder if it would work? I may have to add it to my platform...

Photo Fraud - Media Spin - Where's the Truth?

This video is an interesting look into some of the journalistic fraud in the war in Lebanon. It just makes me wonder how much of this kind of thing happens on a daily basis when the media isn't reporting about wars?

It reminds me a little bit of how my wife was misquoted by the Washington Post in an interview she did. A while back Jill was interviewed by the Washington Post for an article on blogging (click here to see article). The article made her out to be a sports fanatic. While that did make the story slightly more interesting, Jill is in no way, shape or form a sports fanatic.

Can you really believe what you read?

If I were President, I would want to pass a law that required the media to spin everything in a positive direction for me. If I misspell a word, I don't want the media to turn me into that guy who couldn't spell tomato. Instead I prefer that the media mention how I won my elementary school spelling bee two years in a row and my spelling is truly phenomenal.

Some Lebanese - Just Say No to Hezbollah

From the media accounts I have seen of the war in Lebanon, it seems like most of the Lebanese citizens support Hezbollah. This is clearly not the case.

Something I have not heard about on the news are the people in Lebanon that DON'T want to have anything to do with Hezbollah.

Just the other day, I read an email from someone on one of my homeschooling lists that sheds some light on the circumstances from the non-Hezbollah supporters in Lebanon. In the email, the person was talking about her sister-in-law who lives in Lebanon.

They are doing a lot of work to help others in their town. Their town is taking in many people displaced from the fighting, who are seeking refuge.

The really interesting thing about this town is that they have taken up arms. This town has armed themselves in order to drive off Hezbollah should Hezbollah guerrillas attempt to move into positions in their town to launch missiles at the Israelis.

Their town does not want to be used as a human shield.

They have no intention of being caught in the crossfire and have decided to stand up to Hezbollah should Hezbollah coming a knocking.

I wonder if the International media will ever talk about towns like this one, that have decided to "Just Say No" to Hezbollah?

Wake Up Call for World Leaders

Earlier today the Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said:

"Although the main solution is for the elimination of the Zionist regime, at this stage an immediate cease-fire must be implemented."

Given the Iranian President's position and *Hezbollah's position, here is how the world leaders would like the negotiations between Hezbollah and Israel to look like:

Representative of Hezbollah: "We need to have a cease fire and you need to give us prisoners in exchange for your soldiers. "

Representative of Israel: "How about you give us back our soldiers, disarm Hezbollah and create a buffer zone in Southern Lebanon."

Representative of Hezbollah: "Uh, No."

Representative of Israel: "What if we give you back the prisoners in exchange you could give us back our soldiers, and create a buffer zone in Southern Lebanon."

Representative of Hezbollah: "Not acceptable."

Representative of Israel: "What if we give you back the prisoners in exchange you could give us back our soldiers, and stopping shooting at us."

Representative of Hezbollah: "No. We need to have a cease fire and you need to give us prisoners in exchange for your soldiers. Additionally, because of how bad you Israeli's are acting you need to give us more land, and you need to pay us back for the damage you have done to our arsenal of weapons. Then we might stop shooting missiles at you."

Representative of Israel: "Ok. But how about we just end the hostilities forever?"

Representative of Hezbollah: "Great idea. You will let us destroy you?"

Representative of Israel: "Yes, please remove us from the face of the earth, so that there can be a lasting peace in the middle east."

Representative of Hezbollah: "How wonderful. Our work is done here. Now we can head to America for our next mission."

However complex it may seem to the outside world, it really comes down to one simple choice for Israel:

Destroy Hezbollah or be Destroyed by Hezbollah. There are no other REAL options.

* Hezbollah'’s charter has an entire section in it titled "“The Necessity for the Destruction of Israel"”