Monday, August 28, 2006

My Theory on Spontaneous Combustion

I have been a little stressed at work lately, in order to de-stress I thought I would reveal my long held theory on the cause of spontaneous combustion.

Spontaneous combustion is this strange phenomenon where a person spontaneously bursts into flames. Nobody knows how spontaneous combustion works. However, I have a theory and now it's time to reveal my theory to the world.

In my theory, there are two steps needed to cause spontaneous combustion:

Step 1. Person creates static electricity in their body. This can be done in a number of ways, but for the sake of argument let's say that said person rubs their feet around on a carpet (probably the most well known method of creating static electricity).

Now, the person has stored up a lot of static electricity but has not released it yet.

Step 2. Prior to releasing the static electricity person passes gas.

At this point person spontaneously combusts.

Pretty simple:

Static electricity + passed gas = spontaneous combustion

I know what you are thinking:

A person with such a brilliant theory should definitely be elected President (or something like that)...


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