My Wife Jill's Counter Theory on Spontaneous Combustion

Last night, I told you about my theory on spontaneous combustion. Well, my wife Jill has a separate theory that describes what causes spontaneous human combustion.

Her first step for producing spontaneous human combustion is the same as my first step:

1. Person creates static electricity in their body. This can be done in a number of ways, but for the sake of argument let's say that said person rubs their feet around on a carpet (probably the most well known method of creating static electricity).

However, with Jill's theory in the second step the person holds in their gas and builds up massive amounts of internal gas. The combination of the person's growing levels of internal gas and static electricity causes the person to spontaneously combust.

In other words, Jill's theory looks like this:

Static electricity + held gas = spontaneous combustion


The problem with our theories is that if you try to prevent spontaneous combustion using my theory, you are going to hold your gas in. However, if Jill is correct that will cause you to spontaneously combust.

On the other hand, if you try to prevent spontaneous combustion using Jill's theory you would pass gas. Then if my theory is correct, you would spontaneously combust.

Hopefully, we will never find out which one of us is correct. I would hate to spontaneously combust because I didn't agree with my wife.

I strongly suggest that you never, ever, test out our theories. In fact, I will leave you with this...


WARNING: DO NOT TEST THESE THEORIES OUT AT HOME! NEITHER JILL MANTY OR GEORGE MANTY CAN BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE RESULTS.