child tax deductions

Jill is due in March with our fifth baby! Having a new baby will increase the number of dependants we can claim on our taxes, causing us to further reduce our taxes. At this point I know what you are thinking:

"Well Duhhh!"

Just keep reading, it will get more interesting (I hope).

So, I was thinking the other day that if we keep having children we probably won't have to pay taxes anymore. How cool would that be! NO TAXES! Everybody's dream come true (well, except for communists and politicians).

Of course, that would mean we would have a lot of mouths to feed. Yet, still NO MORE TAXES!

What would be really cool is if you could just skip the paperwork. I mean REALLY, filling out the forms is almost as bad as paying taxes. In fact, I think most people would be willing to pay more taxes if they didn't have to deal with the forms.

It would be really cool if the government had a way of taxing us without any work on our part.

That is going to be one of my new platforms. I will create an effortless tax system. No more work for the citizens. I will create a system where there is no tax filing necessary. All accountants who are out of work because of this new law will have first shot at joining the Ant Hill Security department. This way the overall affect on jobless rates will be negligble.

On another note, I think if we keep having kids, the IRS may come to make sure we really have them all. Of course, really all they have to do is give us a short quiz:

1. Who are Steve and Joe and what is the name of their blue puppy?
(Answer: they are brothers and owners of the puppy from the show Blue's Clues.)

2. What is a backyardagain? (I named my gerbils after them, so believe me I can answer this question)

etc...

I wonder if the government would give me a tax deduction for my pets? I just got three gerbils for my birthday, so that gives us 5 household pets at the moment. If I could write off the ants in my backyard then the government would owe me money!

If I were President I would not allow people to write off their pets or their ants. I would prefer to rid the world of ants, and keep barking puppies from spreading any more than they already have...

At least that is what I would do if I were President.

I really, really, really, really, really

While this has nothing to do with anything about being President, but I had to tell YOU my loyal readers (I think I am up to 3 regular readers now), about this funny thing one of my children said.

Let me preface this by saying all of my children have a great sense of humor and are very creative children. So here's the thing, we have had three different colds run through our house in the last two weeks. Right now, two of my children are wearing these fake ice packs things that cool your head while you wear it. It's especially good since, one of my children had a 105+ degree tempature today.

Every night at bedtime we tell knock-knock jokes. Hannah the second youngest child always goes first. So tonight her knock knock joke went like this:

Hannah: Knock, Knock
Us: Who's There
Hannah: I
Us: I who?
Hannah: I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, don't like wearing this sticker on my head!

I laughed and laughed and laughed. The sticker she was referring to is the cold pack I was talking about, and I can imagine that it's not very comfortable.

Anyway, it was really funny! Hope you enjoyed the knock, knock joke...

Gone to the Dogs

My wife found this interesting website tonight, called gone to the dogs. Basically, it is a high tech online quiz that determines what type of dog you would be. My wife would be a Shiba Inu and I would be a Saint Bernard. I think that means we are a good match. Although I don't know if those two dogs get along (actually before tonight I had no idea what a Shiba Inu was).

So I wonder if a Saint Bernard would make a good President?

Saint Bernards are extremely gentle and friendly. They are good with children, highly intelligent, very patient, and loyal. Lastly, they make a good watchdog. It seems to me like these are good characteristics for a President to have (albeit I am not sure where the watchdog thing fits in).

Now, that you know that I would be a Saint Bernard if I were dog, I think you have to agree I would make an excellent President. So if you love Saint Bernards or Shiba Inus then you should really vote for me in 2008.

What kind of dog are you? (Hopefully one who would vote for a Saint Bernard)