Republican Convention

I jut finished watching the Republican Convention and have come away from the convention with great ideas for my campaign in 2008 (should I decide to run).

I absolutely have to find a way to include the phrases "spitballs" and "girly men" into all of my speeches. These terms seem to be crowd favorites.

The next thing I realized is that I have to get a celebrity endorsement. John Kerry has most of Hollywood, George Bush has Arnold, I need a celebrity. There a couple of ways I could go about this. I could become a celebrity. Maybe I could write a book about how to become President. The only problem with this is that it would probably sell better if I wrote it after becoming President...

I need to find a celebrity who wants to rid the world of ants! If I can find a celebrity with a great disdain for ants, he or she will be sure to endorse me. In fact, once I find a celebrity who hates ants, I should get them to be my running mate. Certainly, any celebrity passionate about the ant issue would be proud to be my running mate. Then we might as well skip the formality of voting and just swear me in. There is no way for me to lose with my perfect platform, and a celebrity running mate.

So if I decide to run, the first thing for me to do is find a celebrity who hates ants.

The things I learn from watching television...